"Owning our story and loving ourself through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do."
For quite sometime I've wanted to continue writing. I had a hard time giving up writing on Caringbridge, but sensed it was time for something new. So here I am writing again, but in a new home. To be totally honest, I'm not sure what this blog will become. But I know I have a lot to say...a lot to share...so here is where that will happen. Over the past three years I have not shared in writing physically as much as I've written in my head. The last three years of learning to live with the death of Ethan have been...well I'm not sure what word I'd pick. They've been hard and they've been fascinating.
In February of 2013 I was going through my emails looking for an address. I did not read my emails around the time of Ethan's death. As much as I loved and appreciated all the messages, I couldn't read them. I could not accept that what was happening was real. But as I started going back through them, I came across an email from one of Ethan's teachers. She shared with me the blog of a man who happened to live in my same town who had faced the death of three immediate family members from separate medical instances. I clicked on his blog and this is what I read: "The death of someone you love cracks you open". That's exactly how I felt at that very moment. Exactly. I was wrestling with everything I had ever believed to be true. Everything. I wanted to peel back those layers and look at them, to examine them. I wanted to know what I could depend on, what belief I could know deep in my heart was true. I wanted to know if Ethan was okay. That morning as I read those words, I knew this was the next step for Erik and I. So began our work and now friendship with Tom Zuba.
Here I hope to share many of the meaningful and transformative details of the last 3 years as well as the exciting events of life unfolding. I am still in the process of growing, learning and finding my footing. Here I'll share my family, my boys, our life. I will tell the story of our newly established Ethan M. Lindberg Foundation. This foundation is one of our callings and we are thankful to bring it to life. I will discuss my views on medical topics that I'm passionate about. I'll write about congenital heart disease. I'll write about finding purpose; leaning in with our hearts; breathing into, living into the reason we were created. To love ourselves and each other.
I'm excited to see where this goes. Thank you for following along all these years. Welcome to my new home.