Long for freedom? Wrestle with your faith.

Today I want to give you one of the sweetest, most liberating gifts I’ve been given during the past five years as I’ve learned to live with the death of Ethan, the hardships that arose from his journey and now the acceptance of my son Bodey’s rare muscular dystrophy and many, many things in between. This gift has taken me from bitter to peaceful; from imprisoned to free. I want to give you permission to wrestle with your faith. Whatever deep, burdensome questions plague your heart, today you have the liberty to ask them.

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Walk by Faith.

I have come to know deep in my soul that it all belongs. Life, death, joy, sadness, accomplishment and failure. It all belongs. It all shapes us. I also believe that it's not random. And that there is purpose in all of it. There was GREAT purpose in Ethan's life and there is purpose in his death. You see we are souls that never die. And so my love for Ethan never dies. His love for me never dies. If I could strong arm God or the Universe to hand me back Ethan I would. If I could negotiate my way into having him back I would. But I cannot. And so in this broken place that I have crawled through these last 3 years and I have discovered that I am held. That I am loved and though it does not make sense, it belongs. 

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